So I just realized, why, when you’re trying to insult someone, do you call them a “cock-sucker”? I mean, really, who is that sort of thing insulting? It’s not like you’re implying that the person is sucking the life out of your dick or something. And as long as it’s consensual, I think both parties stand to gain quite the reward for this little interaction. The guy gets off and the girl (or boy, I don’t H8) gets loved. Honestly, that sounds pretty good to me.

Tomorrow’s Forecast: PETA and ASPCA get in touch with the Weatherhuman to remind it that roosters have feelings, too, and they really don’t like to be sucked on. Just cooked in a frying pan.