Like the Academy Award-winning Three 6 Mafia says, “I love having sex, but I’d rather get some head.” This, to me, encompasses the spirit of sexual interaction. Everyone has their turn-ons and sexual preferences, and these differences make each particular interaction special. If you’re like me, plain ole intercourse doesn’t quite do the trick to fulfill my insatiable sexual appetite. Sometimes, if the mood strikes me, nothing sounds better than a round of anal. That’s right. Butt sex. Fucking a girl someplace very uncomfortable… and I don’t mean the back of a Volkswagen.

This idea may or may not be received with much enthusiasm. If it is, then enjoy – but be extra sure to wrap it up, because who knows if the cute blonde you just met on DP engages in DP on the regular. This generally is not a problem, as most coeds aren’t out getting DVDAed nightly. So, for this column, we’re going to assume that the same cute blonde still has her black cherry, and you find yourself asking, “How?” Well, I’ll tell you.

First, you start off by introducing the idea. Perhaps a couple of drinks together overlooking the ocean are all it takes to make her open up to you. Whatever the method, getting your girl to be open about the subject is important to making her comfortable enough to partake in what may be a mutually sexy experience. As I have found, many of the best encounters occur when you have a mutual trust and openness in your sexual relationship. Even with that sort of comfort, many girls will simply never be OK with doing this. Their hang-ups might be related to some childhood event that forever associated her backside with gross, disgusting things. Maybe she accidentally sat on a cucumber, which would also explain why she refused to eat the salad at dinner. However, for all the ladies reading this, anal sex can be intensely pleasurable for you. I have an ex-girlfriend who was only able to have an orgasm through anal sex. This may not be the case for everyone, but you can’t knock it until you try it. So I suggest you try it at least once, ladies, or else you might be missing out on some serious “O” face moments.

If you make it this far with your girl, you’ll need to make sure that she is going to be comfortable enough during the ride to not buck you off. A few things to keep in mind are that the walls of the anus are thinner than the vagina and can not take the rough n’ tumble, porno-style session you two may frequently enjoy together, so lots of lube is necessary. If you’re considering raw dogging it, keep in mind that your risk of transmitting a STI is very high, and unless you think that burning sensation tickles, use a rubber. Also, be sure to put a new rubber on when switching between body cavities. I’m sure if your girl wanted some nasty infection she’d just wipe back to front, so spend the extra 25 cents and use a new condom.

To get things going, try taking a shower together. It is a fun way to provide constant moisture to the area while providing an opportunity to ensure cleanliness, which is a good selling point if that’s her argument against it. This even keeps clean-up to a minimum, because who really wants to have to go buy sheets whenever your now butt-sex loving girlfriend has to get her freak on? The shower addresses solutions to multiple logistical problems while keeping things spontaneous. So be sure to let it happen in the moment after having talked to your partner first. Chances are they’ll let you know when it is time to get down.

And ladies, next time he’s knocking on the back door, let him in. You just might love it.