It’s official: Steve Jobs is taking a leave of absence from Apple. I know what you’re thinking: “So?” but screw you. Love him or loathe him, the man can peddle shiny expensive crap with the best of’em. I think we should take a day to honor the man by wearing black turtlenecks and ‘revolutionizing’ the way we do everything. For instance, instead of drinking a ten-dollar handle of plastic vodka, pay twice as much for vodka that tastes more or less the same but comes in a fancier glass bottle! Revolutionary!

Tomorrow’s forecast: I’m kidding, UCSB. I know you all have pretty Macs that you love to tout during lecture, playing solitaire instead of taking notes, and I’m right there with you. Besides, how could I be so creative without such a shiny screen to stare at?