Who the fuck does the Armchair QB think he is? He sits around on that goddamn chair, drinking a beer and occasionally making snarky comments about sports, and all of a sudden he thinks he’s better than me? I provide real commentary on current events! All he ever does is mock the Yankees. Fuck you QB — the Yanks rock.

Tomorrow’s forecast: The ‘human continues to do brilliant and incisive commentary daily, while the QB nurses that beer like a pussy.