So while most people were still sleeping off their Halloween hangovers Sunday afternoon, the ‘human was watching the most anticipated sporting event of the year: the Slamball championships. What a fucking sport! Even the ‘human could probably dunk it if the court were made of trampolines… maybe.

Tomorrow’s forecast: Rec Sports, energized by the Slashers’ upset victory yesterday, looks into the plausibility of an I.M. slamball league. Chancellor Yang approves, but only on the condition that he can be captain of the faculty team.