Midway through my Thanksgiving meal, my cousin decided to inform me that he had seen a 68-pound turkey the night before. Naturally, I called bullshit. This guy was telling me that he had seen a turkey that could win junior high wrestling matches? A turkey so big, it wouldn’t even legally require a car seat if you were to adopt it as your child? Well I did a little Googling, and lo and behold, the world’s heaviest recorded turkey weighed 86 freaking pounds. In fact, they regularly exceed 40 pounds. Not only that, but they can fly 55 mph and run 25 mph.