Last night blew up like an embassy in Africa. Sans electricity, we bailed like water out of a boat and relocated to an apartment in I.V. When the power suddenly returned to the office, we stood around for a bit, not knowing whether to stay or go back — things got more awkward than a virgin’s first tampon experience.
Though true, the above story is just a vehicle for me to shop around all those similes to English and lit majors. Feel free to use ’em, kids; the ‘human likes to contribute to those novels you’ll never get around to writing.

Wednesday’s Forecast: The wannabe writers and their professors scoff at the suggestion, until sadly realizing that the ‘human has been published more times than they ever will be, and with a greater readership.