Hey ESPN, no one cares whether Derek Jeter still has dinner with Alex Rodriguez on their off nights. This is major league baseball, not an episode of “Entourage,” so report it that way.
Major League Drama
Featured Comic
Please Don’t Try to Bike Over the Hump Pls
Labyrinth: Grades Search
Aries
March 21 - April 19
Chronically single
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
“Casual” by Chappell Roan
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
“Atmosphere” by FISHER
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
The entire shared playlist with their ex
Leo
July 23 - August 22
“Je te laisserai des mots” by Patrick Watson
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
“If Only” by The Marías
Libra
September 23 - October 22
Their ex’s old voice memos
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
White noise
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
“ceilings” by Lizzy McAlpine
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
“Marvins Room” by Drake
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
“KLOusFRENS” by Bad Bunny
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
“Somebody Else” by The 1975
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