New Orleans is decked out for today’s Mardi Gras celebration with green, yellow and purple beads, prepped to serve red beans and ready to give blue balls courtesy of local and visiting flashers.

Fat Tuesday has forever been the ‘human’s favorite holiday, as it encourages the scarfing down of goodies and the occasional, “Are you going to eat that?” cunninglingus joke before Ash Wednesday – Catholicism’s Debbie Downer.

It’s also the last 24 hours in which to decide what sacrifice to make for the next 40 days. The ‘human already asked the ‘mate to “give it up” for Lent, but remains conflicted as to what it will personally forfeit. Smoking or trying to quit smoking?

Tuesday’s Forecast: The UCSB student body collectively decides to give up doing crosswords in lecture, and the Nexus’ circulation rate plummets.