Everything is bigger in Texas. And if Sammy Sosa somehow manages to squeak his way into the Rangers’ 40 man roster, the bats will be bigger and corkier in 2007.
Don’t Mess With Texas
Featured Comic
Nevada Missed the Memo
Aries
March 21 - April 19
Whether or not to get a new family dog
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
Workout routines (while everyone is eating dessert)
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
How far away 6 feet actually is
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
The coronavirus vaccine with your anti-vaxxer aunt Belinda
Leo
July 23 - August 22
Appropriate mask-wearing etiquette
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
Dropping out of college to become a Tik Toker
Libra
September 23 - October 22
Little Timmy’s alt-right Twitter account
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Rudolph Giuliani
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
Drake Bell’s career as Spanish-speaking “Drake Campana”
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
Your family's lack of variety in wardrobe choices for Zoom meetings
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
Going vegan (while they’re carving the turkey)
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
Your new OnlyFans account
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