It’s been several weeks since Christmas but the ‘human still can’t get over the injustice done to Joseph, Jesus’ adopted father. I mean, he got cockled by a fuckin’ ghost.

And that brings me to the subject of circumcised penises. If you’re wondering, the above and adjacent sentences in no way relate; I couldn’t think of a better transition.

According to a reliable source, the foreskin removed from a baby boy’s gun can be used for skin grafts. Think about it. If your wee’s been whacked, there may be a burn victim currently covered in your shiny sheath.

Monday’s Forecast: The ‘human burns other such images into UCSB students’ minds, and then treats the resulting wound with salt and foreskin.