Where the fuck am I? Um, why is there Parmesan cheese all over my face? Why am I wearing a pink – wait, that’s purple – thong, and why does it feel so comfortable? Is that the White Album playing?

Waking up in Isla Vista is always an adventure. Whether you roll over and grab for your newest bubbler or you open your eyes when a girl you don’t recognize whispers “Good morning” in your ear amidst the soft rhythm of ocean waves, it seems that there is no better place in the world to start the day off right.

It doesn’t matter that the corners of your eyes resemble the glaze on the after-nine donuts at Nicoletti’s or that your head feels like you took a dive off Storke Tower, you have work to do. Your mission: to figure out what you got your ass into the night before.

While many of us reminisce over a scrumptious Bagel Caf