Wilt Chamberlain once admitted to allegedly having participated in all sorts of righteous and nasty coitus with over 20,000 totally hot chicks. What must that do to a man’s ego? I’ll tell you. I can hardly remember the 20,000,000th lady that I copulated with this week, but, if hindsight is truly 20/20, I remember feeling really good about myself when I hit Wilt’s magic number – thinking I was the second-coolest dude in the galaxy.

“But Dave, why did fell like only the second coolest? I know you’re the coolest/hottest/sweetest guitar player in the galaxy!”

Well, baby, that’s nice to hear, but believe it or not, there is a man who is even cooler than I am… somehow. Dr. Ernest Gr