For those who have read my column faithfully throughout the year, I owe nothing but my heartiest apologies.
I’ve been abusive, blunt and critical. As, I expect, I will continue to be.
To those who found themselves the subject of my column, I probably owe numerous explanations and profuse apologies. Which, of course, I will refuse to give. Compromise isn’t one of my strong suits – at least in my official capacities as columnist and editor.
Unlike many other end-of-the-year tear-jerkers that have appeared in these pages over the last week or so, there are no nostalgic goodbyes to be had here; I’m stuck here for at least another year or two.
There are much worse places to be stuck. Hopefully, it will stay that way. Hell, it could improve. But that really depends on us, irresponsible drunks of statewide infamy. If I were older, I’d say that there is no hope for the future. That sort of resignation has no place at a university.
This is a bastion of uninhibited thought. This is a place to bend your mind in directions you’ve never even conceived.
“However,” you might ask, “does one do that?”
Some people suggest shrooms, LSD or other hallucinogens. There is a way that doesn’t involve taking potentially dangerous chemicals: Art 4D.
Very important point: This class is not for everybody. Repeat that. Solid.
If wracking your mind for everything it’s worth and squeezing every last bit of your life into one big gooey mess of art does not sound fun, then this class is not for you.
I was more consistently challenged in that class than in any other. And I’m learning Chinese.
What other class provides not only its members but all of campus with limitless opportunities to experience the most bizarre and indulgent aspects of existence? How many people get to say, even once in their life, “I just saw a mime with a skateboard pick a fight with two Jedi!”
If you would like to be that mime, one of those Jedi or anyone else you could think of for 48 hours, take this class.
There probably aren’t that many other places that you could be confronted with a giant alligator head, a monkey, the Chiquita banana lady and a giant teddy bear all in the same day, either.
I pity the fool who walks by these oddities thinking, “That certainly doesn’t belong there. Maybe if I ignore them, they’ll leave me alone so I can get to class.”
Or, “You don’t go to a university to have fun, do you? Well, I’ll have no part in it.”
This isn’t a religion; it’s college. It may not be Animal House – probably a little bit more crude – but I’ll be damned if I’m not going to exploit this campus for every bit of enjoyment it’s got. Like Art 4D, the chance to live your own art, the theater department’s productions, the University Art Museum, free shows in the Music Building. It’s endless.
Luckily, not all of our fun is university-sponsored. This is my advice and my vindication for all the bitching I’ve done this year, whether it’s about A.S. or my car getting unjustly towed: Enjoy Isla Vista. The people are worthless drunks and shady characters of all kinds, but most people would be if they lived so close to an entire street full of parties with free kegs.
And free music. Reggae, rock, hip hop, punk, techno – there are some really good shows to be seen. Like my boys, Fuzzy Logic.
For all the sketchball shit that goes down in this little town, so long as you keep your opinion of humanity low, you’re fine. It’s nothing that can’t be dealt with.
All the drink must be to ease the transition into being an adult. A dirty, dirty word that’s slapping all those pending graduates in the face right about now. To all of you, good luck with that. I don’t envy that position – bent and waiting for life after college.
But it is a hell of an achievement. If I were your mothers, I’d be downright proud of the lot of you. Congratulations.
For now, I’m shirking all of my studying and getting some serious partying in before all the tests. Getting my kicks before everyone leaves town for the summer. Just remember, in a town like this, you just can’t depend on the sanity of others.
Especially not around finals time.
Drink up and study hard, You won’t be here forever – hopefully.
Daily Nexus opinion editor Cory Anthony doesn’t want to grow up; he’s an S.O.S. kid.