Having spent the previous weekend at Chico State doing keg stands and shotgunning beers with her son, “cool mom” Karen Smith, proud parent of a freshman at UC Santa Barbara, was thrilled at the idea of visiting her daughter over the legendary Isla Vista Halloweekend. However, instead of being met with the ragers she was expecting, she was instead faced with swaths of chain-link fences and police officers on every corner.
“I had heard legends of how wild Halloween gets around here, so when I saw the police officers walking around I thought they were students who were just a little too committed to their costumes,” she said, embarrassed. “It wasn’t until I noticed they were carrying tasers instead of open cans of beer that something was … awry”
Karen grew even more confused when she realized that she was basically walking around a ghost town that Saturday night. She explained that when she had visited at the beginning of the year, things were a lot different.
“I took a foray into Isla Vista the night after dropping my daughter off. There were people riding around on electric scooters in the nude, die flying through the air, puddles of vomit on the street … a college student’s Eden. Walking around on Halloween weekend, the most exciting thing was watching an overfed raccoon try to climb over the chain link fences”
Upon returning, Karen promised to buy her daughter and her group of friends train tickets to UCLA next Halloweekend, so they could “have some good old-fashioned spooky fun” instead of being locked in their dorms, afraid of the spookiest thing this Halloween: UCSB’s police state.
Chace Duma was disappointed he couldn’t rage with his parents on Halloween weekend
Emma Demorest is the editor of Nexustentialism. She once licked the largest wooden yoyo in the world.