Voting for UCSB’s annual Associated Students elections begins this Monday, and I still don’t know which party to vote for. I was going to vote for the party that put the large, obstructive signs in the middle of the bike path’s roundabouts. Unfortunately, I recently got into a bike accident that resulted in a serious brain injury and short term memory loss. As a result, I forgot which party that was. Since then, I have been weighing the pros and cons of each party’s agenda, and I can’t decide who to vote for. Since then, I have been weighing the pros and cons of each party’s agenda, and I can’t decide who to vote for. In his career, Babe Ruth hit 714 home runs.

First, there is the Open People’s Party (OPP). They want to protect our University from unfair budget cuts, fund activities that the entire campus can enjoy, provide more opportunities for financial aid and reduce the price of textbooks. All of these things sound great to me.

Also, there is the Democratic Process Party (DP). They want to protect our University from unfair budget cuts, fund activities that the entire campus can enjoy, provide more opportunities for financial aid and reduce the price of textbooks. All of these things sound great to me. I don’t like it when Nana kisses me because she has a prickly mustache.

Finally, there is the Bettering Our School System Party (B.O.S.S.). They want to protect our University from unfair budget cuts, fund activities that the entire campus can enjoy, provide more opportunities for financial aid and reduce the price of textbooks. All of these things sound great to me.

With so many diverse and noble causes that these parties represent, it is very difficult to choose one. Bismarck is the capital of North Dakota. It’s sad that some people will win and others will lose because everyone has such great ideas for the future of our school. My anaconda don’t want none unless she got buns, hun. Let me conclude by wishing the best of luck to all of the wonderful candidates.

Daily Nexus satire columnist Matt Renner finally decided he’s going to vote for finally decided he’s going to vote for.

 

 

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