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Drew Says,

When they cloned Dolly the lamb, I wasn't impressed. My dad's from New Zealand. I've seen sheep. They're pretty much the same - hooves, wool, pea-sized brain. I hear now they've cloned more animals, l...
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Prettiest Boy in Troy

That new movie about the Trojan War looks pretty cool. My only beef is with the casting. Brad Pitt as Achilles? Achilles' one weakness is supposed to be his heel, not his girlish face.
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Other Drew Says,

When I sleep at night I dream of a sanitary future, full of shiny uniforms and cars that fly. There are cities in the clouds, robot maids, and dolphins coexisting with humans in a civilized manner. I ...
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Fatty Patty Isn’t a Matter for the Courts

In the 1990s, tort claims made up half of all lawsuits filed in the United States. One and a half million are reportedly filed every year. Tort claims are legal actions taken to receive damages for al...
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Terrorism Can’t Exist Without a House to Live In

I am writing in response to Ali Kattan-Wright's article ("Collective Punishment Affects Us All," April 27, Daily Nexus) which I found to be a revolting distortion of the Israeli government's policy of...
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Coke Pokes Its Nose Into Some Serious Criminal Activities

What is really going on with Coca-Cola? There is overwhelming evidence that management at Coca-Cola's bottling plants in Colombia routinely allows paramilitary death squads to murder, torture and kidn...
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A Pubic Hairy Situation

Hair is a part of life. Whether you like it or not, hair is an inescapable certainty that we must live with. Many of you may have a bit of the amazon growing between your thighs, and others still may ...
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Smitty Checks Out

This box says 'Weather' on top, so I guess I should mention it's been hot enough to kill the elderly lately. Whoops - I guess that was kind of insensitive. There goes my readership at the old folk's h...
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America Needs to Get off Its High Horse

Lovely. Isn't it amazing how incredibly willing we Americans are to sacrifice so much and help our little brown brothers in Iraq? We definitely deserve a brownie. Let's all take a moment to pat oursel...
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Damn Skippy: Some Fine Amber Waves of Grain

I love a lot of things. Ice cream, "Zoolander," and camping are among them. I certainly love my country. But above all, I love myself. From this self-love comes my appreciation for everything else.
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Hell No, We Won’t Protest

I was thinking about the assholes protesting against Karen Hughes here on Sunday. Now, I'm not the kind to accuse a person of being un-American just because they are protesting someone.
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Collective Punishment Affects Us All

Imagine waking up one morning to the sound of loud banging on your front door. You stumble through a room crowded with sleeping children only to find three soldiers wielding automatic weapons outside ...
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The Sweet Smell of Burning Couch Could Cost Major Dough

Ah, lovely spring. This is the time of year you just have to appreciate the warm weather, sunny days, birds chirping, hay fever, wind, birds dumping on my car and the lovely smell of burnt couch.
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Don’t Be Fooled by Friendly LaRouchies in Front of the Arbor

Maybe you saw them here last week. Maybe you talked to them. Every now and again, they set up tables in the Arbor. They approach you with bright smiles. They're a friendly and racially diverse crowd. ...
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Professional Crastinator

I don't really have time today to sit here and tell jokes. I've got a midterm tomorrow, which means I've got to get home and clean my room, cook a full dinner and organize my desk.
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