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AOL Instant Messenger and the Deterioration of the Human Race

May 3, 2004 by Anthony Manganaro

It is obvious the Internet is killing us - not mentally, but physically. For example, when I checked my e-mail this morning, I fell out of my chair and broke my right nut.
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We Still Don’t Understand

April 30, 2004 by

OK, it's late Thursday night, and I have the funniest joke I've written all week (not saying much) all ready to go. When I go to drop it in, I find my space pillaged by some bullshit correction.
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A T-shirt With a History

April 30, 2004 by Henry Sarria

I have decided to go on a mission. This mission will be a simultaneous statement of both fashion and politics. If you think my name made it to Mr. Blackwell's "10 Worst Dressed List" you're wrong. Eve...
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Returning to the High School Womb

April 30, 2004 by Alec Mouhibian

It is widely acknowledged that UCSB is a pretty weird place. It's the type of place that when you hear about puppy love, it most likely has something to do with bestiality. This naturally came up when...
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A Few Fixes to Pull Your ‘Puter Out of Slo-mo

April 30, 2004 by Zachary Carter

When it comes to computers, ignorance is not bliss. Your computer can only do what you tell it to, and I say "your computer" because mine has a mind of its own.
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Outreach Makes for a More Colorful UCSB

April 30, 2004 by Torrance Thurman

It is widely acknowledged that UCSB is a pretty weird place. It's the type of place that when you hear about puppy love, it most likely has something to do with bestiality.
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‘Pompous Clown’ Williams Disgraces Nexus, Students

April 30, 2004 by Bert Viloria

It is rather pathetic that a so-called Nexus columnist like Loren Williams has to resort to his professed xenophobic ideals to pump up his puerile and ignorant rants.
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Drew Says,

April 29, 2004 by Drew Mackie

When they cloned Dolly the lamb, I wasn't impressed. My dad's from New Zealand. I've seen sheep. They're pretty much the same - hooves, wool, pea-sized brain. I hear now they've cloned more animals, l...
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Prettiest Boy in Troy

April 29, 2004 by

That new movie about the Trojan War looks pretty cool. My only beef is with the casting. Brad Pitt as Achilles? Achilles' one weakness is supposed to be his heel, not his girlish face.
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Other Drew Says,

April 29, 2004 by Drew Atkins

When I sleep at night I dream of a sanitary future, full of shiny uniforms and cars that fly. There are cities in the clouds, robot maids, and dolphins coexisting with humans in a civilized manner. I ...
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Fatty Patty Isn’t a Matter for the Courts

April 29, 2004 by Nicholas Romero

In the 1990s, tort claims made up half of all lawsuits filed in the United States. One and a half million are reportedly filed every year. Tort claims are legal actions taken to receive damages for al...
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Terrorism Can’t Exist Without a House to Live In

April 29, 2004 by Neer Lerner

I am writing in response to Ali Kattan-Wright's article ("Collective Punishment Affects Us All," April 27, Daily Nexus) which I found to be a revolting distortion of the Israeli government's policy of...
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Coke Pokes Its Nose Into Some Serious Criminal Activities

April 29, 2004 by Ashleigh Talberth

What is really going on with Coca-Cola? There is overwhelming evidence that management at Coca-Cola's bottling plants in Colombia routinely allows paramilitary death squads to murder, torture and kidn...
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A Pubic Hairy Situation

April 28, 2004 by Kate Rice

Hair is a part of life. Whether you like it or not, hair is an inescapable certainty that we must live with. Many of you may have a bit of the amazon growing between your thighs, and others still may ...
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Smitty Checks Out

April 28, 2004 by

This box says 'Weather' on top, so I guess I should mention it's been hot enough to kill the elderly lately. Whoops - I guess that was kind of insensitive. There goes my readership at the old folk's h...
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