News

April 2, 2009

I.V. Beach To Fill With Floaters

By Staff

The first weekend of the quarter is always a busy one, and this quarter will be no exception with both Floatopia and the annual Isla Vista Joint Rolling Contest on the schedule.

April 2, 2009

Council Unseats Member

By Maane Khatchatourian

The Associated Students Judicial Council reaffirmed their decision to remove a council member from office during last night's six-and-a-half-hour long A.S. Legislative Council meeting.

April 2, 2009

UCSB To Get Slimed

By Staff

April 1, 2009

Steve Pappas Contests Bar Tab

By Sorey Looser Staff Writer

Steve Pappas, former candidate for 3rd District supervisor, filed yet another lawsuit yesterday, claiming that his tab at the Old Town Tavern was not only incorrect, but fraudulent.

April 1, 2009

Cigarette Scorches Bill’s Bus; Kills 682

By Tall Can Staff Writer

At 1:34 a.m. last night, Bill's Bus careened off the side of the road and burst into flames on the corner of Calle Real and Hollister Avenue. Six hundred and eighty-two UCSB students were pronounced dead at the scene.

April 1, 2009

Local Band Plays DP

By Amanda Huginkiss-Maasshole

Following a live concert at a Del Playa residence over the weekend, local band members assured friends and roommates that their concert was "sweet."

April 1, 2009

Sorority Sisters Get Coked Out, Nailed in Mexico

By Antonio Snorta Staff Writer

TIJUANA, MEXICO - Mexican Special Forces apprehended four members of UCSB's Delta Mu sorority this past weekend for their alleged involvement in the trafficking of cocaine into the United States.

April 1, 2009

Psychotic Crank Busts Pygmy Lair

By Stevie McBongwater Staff Writer

Last night, university maintenance staff cleaning the second floor of Girvetz Hall heard strange noises emanating from behind a small door with the words 'Pygmy Studies' written above it.

April 1, 2009

Yang Carted Off to Pokey

By La Hag Staff Writer

The Santa Barbara County Sheriff's Dept. took the man UCSB students have come to know as Chancellor Henry T. Yang into custody last night after receiving an anonymous tip suggesting that Yang was not who he claimed to be...

April 1, 2009

A.S. Meets for Eight Hours

By Maane Khatchatourian

Minutes before the Associated Students Legislative Council meeting was set to end, members of Don't Cut Us Out - a coalition of students fighting the administrative tax on non-state funded entities - stormed in with news...

April 1, 2009

Corpse

By Staff

The body of a student was found inbetween the Pardall fences yesterday. Authorities believe the deceased was a drunken reveller who could not find his way out.

April 1, 2009

Poetry From the Bottom

By Various

The Plight of the Plover By Travis Miller Sitting in the sand, Not a care in the world, except Of course, than their imminent extinction. Watching the waves crash, they stay and the Young plovers play. (This space repres...

April 1, 2009

Today’s Front Page

By Staff

March 31, 2009

UCSB Alters LRDP After Local Reaction

By Elliott Rosenfeld

The public review period for the university's Long Range Development Plan and its accompanying Environmental Impact Report ended yesterday, exposing widespread community concerns and debate over how the LRDP will affect ...

March 31, 2009

Police Evict UCSB Vagrant

By Jessica Mullen

Campus police arrested 50-year-old Frank Besig last week after officers discovered the local transient squatting in a South Hall cubicle.