Staff

April 17, 2002

Pussy Melon

By Staff

I love stupid useless crap. That is why I'm ecstatic over the grand-opening of the Isla Vista dollar store. Morning Glory's replacement is chalk full of discount pasta, Chinese made mermaid dolls, designer imposter perfu...

April 17, 2002

Sports Feature Photo: Winding up Goose Gossage Style

By Staff

Junior pitcher Loren Thornburg and the UCSB softball team lost a double-header at Stanford on Tuesday. The Cardinal swept 7-2 and 8-3 wins over Santa Barbara. The Gauchos battle St. Mary's today in Moraga at 2 p.m.

April 15, 2002

(No Weather Today)

By Staff

(No Weather Today)

April 15, 2002

Write Your Slogans in Lamb’s Blood

By Staff

The Powers That Be have taken steps to smite this year's A.S. campaign. Last week humidity melted the tempera paint until all the candidate names were identical blurs. On Monday, 30 mph gales transformed the flimsy pap...

April 15, 2002

Feature Photo: Splish Splash

By Staff

April 12, 2002

The Candidate

By Staff

Some have doubted my ability to execute the duties of President, as I am a non-corporal entity. I touch nothing but myself, and my rantings in this ever-shrinking box are unfocused, self obsessed, and ineffectual.

April 12, 2002

Female Reports Sexual Assault

By Staff

The victim told police she was running between the stables and Devereaux at about 3:45 p.m. when a man walked out from bushes on the side of the roadway and blocked her path.

April 12, 2002

Feature Photo: Live! Nude Voices!

By Staff

Members of the a cappella group Naked Voices end their performance at the opening of the Women's Center Art Gallery on Thursday night.

April 12, 2002

Feature Photo: “It Affects Me”

By Staff

Members of Men Against Rape and the Women's Center stand in front of the Women's Center sign.

April 11, 2002

Happy Landings

By Staff

The planners for the Santa Barbara Municipal Airport want to add safety strips to their runways, a move backed by the FAA which would require shifting the strip 800-feet west of its current position and redesigning the G...

April 11, 2002

Give ’em the Chair

By Staff

People make a fuss over what professor teaches which class, never realizing what makes one lecture okay and another torture: the chairs.

April 11, 2002

Feature Photo: “I’m melting. Meeeeeelting…”

By Staff

Senior history major and Gauchoholic Lee Gientke gets dunked as a part of A.S. President Brian Hampton's kick-off for a website that would allow students to evaluate and look at other student's evaluations of professors ...

April 11, 2002

April 11, 2002 – April 17 2002

By Staff

I bet she plays a mean guitar. Theatre UCSB presents "Passage/Spring Dances 2002" tonight at Hatlen Theatre. Director Stephanie Nugent says the show "offers a diverse array of aesthetics, perspectives and journeys."

April 10, 2002

L.A. Story

By Staff

The weatherpet is suffering a midlife crisis. At three he is past his youth and has been reminded of his advancing age by a hernia and kidney stones.

April 10, 2002

Feature Photo: We Will Remember

By Staff

Senior business economics major Jourdan Konier reads the names of Holocaust victims in front of the UCen during a 24-hour vigil held from noon Monday to noon Tuesday. The reading was one of many activities planned for H...

April 10, 2002

Feature Photo: The Monster in Me

By Staff

The mascot for Monstor.com waves at passersby. The monster was part of the Counseling and Career Services Summer Job Workshop on Monday afternoon in front of the CC&S building. Monstor.com, a job search service, was one...