David Downs

May 31, 2001

Fear and Boring

By David Downs

I take in David Horowitz in all his trollish elegance as he squats behind the podium ranting about how all my professors are crooked leftists.

May 24, 2001

Columnist Rises to the Synonym Challenge

By David Downs

"Write a column about your penis." This is what Opinion editor Curtis says when I ask him what the most memorable column of the year should be about.

May 18, 2001

Delving Into the Dark Depths of Man-Beast Habitat

By David Downs

With only five weeks left until the end of my lease, my five roommates and I have entered into a depraved Iron Man contest to see who can stand the filth of our own house.

May 10, 2001

Can’t Fight the Feelin’ – Spring Is Here Once Again

By David Downs

People don't want to hear about how it's spring and everything in Isla Vista is green, or how heavenly it is to witness the 10-minute riot of nubile flesh as it floods down the bikepaths before class.

May 2, 2001

Incompetence Smells Worse Than So-called Swine

By David Downs

Once, when I was a lowly crime reporter, I asked a wise old Isla Vista cop why he was always so polite to us Nexites. He said, "It's never a good idea to mess with people who buy ink by the barrel."

April 18, 2001

Cyberspace Is the Battleground for Social Reform

By David Downs

Pop quiz, brainiac: How many miles of chain-link fence does it take to protect the World Trade Organization from 10,000 angry activists?

April 12, 2001

Double Standard in Federal Drug Policy Condemns Thousands

By David Downs

What's at stake this week in The Supreme Court v. The Sick, the Nauseous and the Terminally Ill of Berkeley, is nothing less than the right of 100 million Americans to decide what they can and can't put in their dying bo...

April 4, 2001

‘Syllabus’ Classes Can Unravel Academic Gridlock

By David Downs

Girvetz 2116 is a stuffy little classroom crammed with the bodies of over 50 students waiting for Modern Literature professor Enda Duffy. The desks are filled, and crashers sit Indian style on the floor while more plug u...

March 5, 2001

FAFSA: My Anti-Drug; Removal of Aid Sparks Congress Battle

By David Downs

Drug War promoter Mark Souder, R-Ind., has leveled his legislative guns at the financial aid of hundreds of thousands of college students, but anti-drug war activists nationwide are taking their own potshots and mounting...

February 28, 2001

Wake Up and Smell Your Spectacle Society

By David Downs

The rain comes down in a halo of streetlight amber. Thousands of students stand silently in the road weeping. Behind the silence, a dozen power generators hum the TV stations' live feeds.

February 21, 2001

Speed and Death are America’s Apple Pie

By David Downs

Dale Earnhardt died Sunday when his brain suddenly snapped off his spine in the kind of superwhiplash that occurs when you hit a wall going 190 mph.

February 14, 2001

‘Fight On’ for Free Music

By David Downs

I speak for 50 million when I say the music industry can suck my balls.

February 7, 2001

Prosecution Against Asbestos-Dumping Landlord Never Went to Court

By David Downs

The APCD wanted to prosecute KAMAP owner John Warkentin for breaking multiple air-pollution, public-health and fair-business laws.

February 7, 2001

America Revisits the Cold War

By David Downs

Right now Washington D.C. Republicans are so crazy with power that the capillaries have begun bursting in their retinas.

February 7, 2001

Insight on Former KAMAP Painter Oldfield

By David Downs

When Deputy District Attorney Allan Kaplan settled with KAMAP for $60,000, Dave Oldfield said he felt robbed and cheated of justice.

January 31, 2001

One Dumb Kid Sends Whole Country in Uproar Over “Jackass”

By David Downs

Jason Lind should be receiving his nomination for the Darwin Award as he fights infection and struggles for life in the Boston Shriner's Hospital burn ward.