I have observed UCSB departmental offices for four years. As a public service, I will now print the secretive campuswide schedule for these offices:

Sometime after 9:30ish: Slide into the office. Take an hour to collect your thoughts (no calls, visits).

10:00ish: Open the office for business.

11:30ish: Gather up the entire office (no matter how busy you are) and go to lunch. Make sure no one is left behind to help students.

1:30ish: Take a half hour to digest and relax. Stress on a full stomach = heartburn.

2:00ish: Open for business.

3:00ish: Begin closing the office down. Frequently say, “Ooooh. I’d love to help you on that one, but my computer doesn’t have the capacity to do that … you’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

4:00ish: It’s been a crazy day. Go home early. Tell students outside your office to return tomorrow.

Tuesday’s forecast: Stressful day, but just feel good that you are helping so many students.