It’s a good thing I bet on the ________ this year. All you ________ fans must be feeling pretty silly right now. But next year it will be all about the ________.
Monday’s forecast: Note to weatherhuman: Fill in blanks before sending to print, as if it would be any more meaningful that way.
Ends on ‘good terms’ but is blocked on Instagram
Slow fade
Ghosting them on a random Monday
“It’s not you, it’s me”
Drunk Uber “we need to talk” voice memo
Presents a notes app pros and cons list
Asks to still be friends
Drops their stuff off, never speaks to them again
Texts “this isn’t working” then posts from another country
“It’s not me, it’s you”
Tells them they need to focus on Econ 10A
Delivers a hand-written letter to their mom
