California Drought Ends, UCSB Students Feel Conflicted

Californians received a huge relief this past Wednesday when a heavy rainstorm flooded the state with an average of 1.5 inches of precipitation. Governor Jerry Brown called a press conference to officially announce the end of the drought, in which he also stated that October 14 should now forever be known as “National Wet Day.” Young people flooded the streets to celebrate the end of the Golden State’s suffering. Some recalled the hardship they have faced due to the crisis.

“Business has been really hard,” George McGrass of Isla Vista said. “For a long time I couldn’t afford to water my crop; but tonight the bongs of DP shall be overflowing.” Many of his fellow residents shared the same sentiment. “Last week I had to pay $30 for a dime bag. 30!” Mary Zheng said. “I don’t think I would have been able to support my habit much longer — I would probably have to quit paying for laundry or something.”

Many upperclassmen also noted a change in behavior of their freshman counterparts once the rain hit. “Before, they would constantly be looking for an easy hookup.” Leila Oswald said. “But now, they’re actually respectable. The rain must have quenched their thirst.” Skip Peterson, a first-year music studies major, agreed. “I haven’t given my Kik out to any girls in the past three days. It’s been really weird.”

Chancellor Yang was not excluded from the festivities, as he gave UCSB students permission to down-flush their toilets and announced the campus lawns would no longer be hydrated with recycled water. However, not all California residents were thrilled by the recent storm. Some are now questioning if the El Niño will bring terror instead of tribulation to their scenic coastal town. “Didn’t you hear about the sea snakes? We’re all going to die!” Malcolm Suerte screamed as he ran from Manzanita Beach. “If this weather doesn’t stop, we’re going to have to take the school and move it somewhere else. The ocean will swallow us whole.” Noah Clark, a T.A. in the Earth Science Department, concluded upon analyzing no research whatsoever. Some students took to protesting the storm in the Arbor on Thursday afternoon, hoping to attract the attention of students studying for their midterms in the Davidson Library. “One and a half inches might not seem like a lot, but if it happens again that would be like three whole inches, and that’s almost a lot of rain” Kim Lowry, founder of the Umbrella Work Union and organizer of the protest, said.

A recent poll by The Daily Nexus reveals that students are divided on whether the recent storm’s benefits outweigh its harm. They have some time to decide, though, because no rain is forecasted for at least the next ten days.