I sincerely hope that you all had a pleasant Mother’s Day. I know you all went home or called or sent nice cards.
Except for my professors.
Because I know you don’t have mothers.
You are soulless bastards who assign homework on national holidays.
Monday’s forecast: Sigh. This sucks.
Ends on ‘good terms’ but is blocked on Instagram
Slow fade
Ghosting them on a random Monday
“It’s not you, it’s me”
Drunk Uber “we need to talk” voice memo
Presents a notes app pros and cons list
Asks to still be friends
Drops their stuff off, never speaks to them again
Texts “this isn’t working” then posts from another country
“It’s not me, it’s you”
Tells them they need to focus on Econ 10A
Delivers a hand-written letter to their mom
