I always figured that the changing of the ‘humans would be kind of like the changing of shifts at the Freebirds register. You walk in drunk, put on a hat that you bought for $3 at Marshalls, and start overcharging people for the cheapest ingredients on Earth.

Quite the contrary though: Turns out the ceremony is kind of like those secret meetings from the Da Vinci Code except without the nude old people sex. Which is too bad, a couple of 60 year olds going at it really would’ve set the mood.

Thursday’s Forecast: To my predecessor – I tip my $3 Marshalls cap to you. But I maintain that hiring washed up strippers to set the mood would have been a perfectly reasonable investment for the Nexus.