The ‘human brought a movie back to Blockbuster last night.

“Ho, ho, a little late on the return, aren’t we?” the clerk said.

“Yes. And you work at a video store.”

We need to insult those less powerful than us. Mediocrity surrounds us at UCSB; it binds our galaxy together. Thus, degrading others is a better bet for getting ahead than a UCSB diploma.

Think I’m wrong? Then consider the typical UCSB student — the Weatherhousemate. The ‘housemate bragged this week about banging a TJ hooker. Wow. That’s like celebrating your DARE graduation.

Wednesday’s Forecast: Or writing a three-inch humor column.