The Vice President shoots his friend with a shotgun? A SWAT team storms a house because a woman gives them the finger? What the fuck?
Monday’s forecast: After the absurd events of the weekend, the ‘human decides to stop wearing clothes. Why the fuck not? All hail the weatherprivates (or private, who knows)!
Ends on ‘good terms’ but is blocked on Instagram
Slow fade
Ghosting them on a random Monday
“It’s not you, it’s me”
Drunk Uber “we need to talk” voice memo
Presents a notes app pros and cons list
Asks to still be friends
Drops their stuff off, never speaks to them again
Texts “this isn’t working” then posts from another country
“It’s not me, it’s you”
Tells them they need to focus on Econ 10A
Delivers a hand-written letter to their mom
