In my freshman psych class I read about experiments that rewarded pigeons with a special treat for tapping a lever.

Those scientists were silly.

They could have saved money on seed and saved those birds a lot of confusion by merely performing their experiment at the Weathercave.

You see, the Weatherroommate gets up really early every morning. After that, no one can stop me from abusing my snooze bar privileges.

Each tap takes me on a magical, nine-minute journey where donkeys and froggy pops dance through my head.

All this for free.

Man, those scientists really blew it.

Friday’s forecast: I’ll get up around 9 a.m. Okay, 9:09. Okay, 9:18. Okay, 9:27 … Okay, fine, 11:23.