U-Mail: Isla Vista, don’t worry, we will be back

To: <ivstreets@umail.uscb.edu>

From: Narineh Madikians <nmadikians@umail.ucsb.edu>

Subject: Isla Vista, don’t worry, we will be back

Dear empty streets of Isla Vista, 

I will miss you this weekend on my journey away from your boarded-up streets and high police presence. I am sorry to leave you in the hands of such company. I tried to make it up this past weekend in my Velma costume that I put on one week early just for you. In fact, so many of us showed you our loyalty, dressed head to toe as different ghosts and ghouls. As I walked hand in hand with my Scooby gang counterparts, I took in all your glory. 

The houses that hug your sides were shaking as music and people overflowed into your waiting arms. As my boots clicked on your asphalt surface, you provided me with endless entertainment. To my left, I saw freshmen begging for their GroupMe chats to load outside of whatever fraternity was throwing that night. To my right, I saw the safety booth surrounded by cats, Victoria Secret angels and a life-size Marlboro Reds pack anxiously waiting for water. And right in front of me, of course, was a girl hurling her guts out, which I thankfully dodged with ease thanks to the expertise I have gained on so many weekends before. 

Will you miss me this weekend when your entrances are boarded up, speakers are locked away and the massive crowds disappear? I know I will miss you. I promise I would never leave your side if I was not forced out — none of us would. 

Unfortunately, the evil forces that tear us away have nothing to do with you. It is nothing more than a Halloween curse called a “noise ordinance.”  Coming into effect on Oct. 26 at 6 p.m., not only can I not enjoy music with you, but I cannot play music that can be heard from the edge of my own property. If you know me, which, Isla Vista, I know you do, you know that I simply cannot survive without my Beats Pill. I’m sure that the music I play in the shower would probably violate this ordinance, so I’d rather not take my chances. And if you think I am being dramatic, Isla Vista, last year during the infamous Deltopia, my friend was approached in her front yard by an officer on horseback warning her to turn off her speaker while tanning. As much as I would love an officer on horseback to try and write me a ticket, I think I will stick with fleeing town this weekend. 

Don’t worry though, I will be back for more sunset walks, Friday nights and people-watching from balconies. They could never tear us apart no matter how hard they try. I hope you’ll miss me as much as I’ll miss you.

With love, 

Narineh 

Narineh Madikians ultimately isn’t upset about celebrating Halloween twice.