Halloween Costumes: The Ultimate Relationship Test?

The weather is getting cooler, the leaves are changing colors and pumpkins are being carved — Halloween is approaching. Around the country, college students are making the choice between whether or not to be an angel or a devil, a vampire or a siren. But what does the holiday look like to those who are in relationships? 

The Halloween season has the tendency to cause tension within relationships, with heterosexual relationship dynamics often struggling the most. Women are constantly put down by society due to norms surrounding their fashion choices, and it’s all too common for women to face misogynistic comments based on their clothes. This issue is often exacerbated during Halloween, when many boyfriends may accuse their girlfriends of wanting to “unnecessarily show off.” This can often be observed on social media platforms including TikTok and Instagram, with women often posting videos of themselves in their costumes, asking for the approval of others and stating that her boyfriend was not okay with her outfit. Oftentimes under these posts, commenters are on the girl’s side.

Halloween is viewed by many students as a night of complete freedom and festivity, and this extends to wearing what they want. In the early 2000s hit “Mean Girls,” Cady Heron once said, “In girl world, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” But the issue is, dressing in a certain type of way shouldn’t lead to women being labeled with derogatory terms like “slut.” However, the idea still stands: It is the one night a year where you can embody the characters you love without facing anxiety and fear of judgement from others for being in a costume. And the same thing should apply to men as well — nobody should be dictating what their romantic partners choose to wear. A secure relationship should not be affected by the amount of clothing someone wears. 

The idea that a man should be allowed to dictate what a woman wears is part of longstanding patriarchal standards which impose upon women’s autonomies, norms which society should outgrow. It is unfair for a woman to have to suffer consequences due to a man’s jealousy. When it comes down to it, the root of the problem is not the woman. This is a problem rooted in insecurity, and the expectation that someone must change their actions to cater to these insecurities is unfair. Throughout history, it has been normalized for a man to have power in decision making over a woman. Rape culture is at the forefront of a world where showing more skin is seen as an invitation, and something even as small as controlling a Halloween costume ties into that. What women wear is often twisted by abusers in an attempt to justify their actions, but any violation of a woman’s boundaries has everything to do with the person violating them, and nothing to do with her or what she is wearing.

It is natural to get jealous, and everyone has their own insecurities, but it becomes a problem once it is projected onto others. In today’s world, the distinction between establishing a healthy boundary and imposing your will on others due to a personal belief is often confused. Boundaries are a set of personal rules one has to protect their emotions and wellbeing by limiting their own behavior and the treatment they find acceptable from others. Therefore, there is a difference between communicating a boundary and asking someone else to change their own behavior because of an insecurity; in the latter case, responsibility doesn’t fall on the other party to change. Sometimes a bit of self reflection is necessary rather than forcing other people to make accommodations for you. It is completely acceptable to place boundaries, however, it is a different situation when you create boundaries for someone else. It becomes controlling and toxic, especially when a romantic relationship is involved. 

Another question arises of what the actual issue is with “revealing” costumes. Is it considered a problem because other people have wandering eyes? If so, that is not the costume-wearers’ problem. As long as they don’t encourage or allow anything unloyal, they have done nothing wrong. Other people thinking your partner looks good should really be a flex, not a cause for jealousy.

Halloween is meant to be a time for everyone to have fun, and no one’s night should be ruined due to jealousy. Costumes are just another form of expression, and everyone has the right to show off.

Avery Massie thinks that girls should wear whatever they want for Halloween and look baddie while doing so.