Faith Talamantez / The Daily Nexus

Deltopia has come and gone, and now that the hangovers have fully subsided, many Gauchos have found themselves mourning their individuality. Frequent unintentional twinning has taken a toll on students. 

“I’m not going to say where I got my top, but in French, it’s called, ‘Tarjay,’” said fourth-year communication major Urbanie Outfritters. “I don’t know when everyone started shopping there, but apparently every other girl in Isla Vista had to raid my spot.” 

On Deltopia, Outfritters claimed to have seen at least 1738 girls wearing the exact same top, if not one “basically exactly fucking like it!” Unfortunately for girls like Outfritters, previously lowkey places like Target, Ross and Tillys have become all the rave, and every trip has caused rather awkward run-ins for many different students. 

“I swear, I’d never seen this many people in the clothing section … this has been my literal SPOT for every year I’ve been here,” Outfritters said, showing pictures of her white bikini and matching white skirt, in which other girls can be seen in the background wearing similar outfits. “Stop fucking shopping here! Get your own store!” 

Unfortunately, as bikini top season rolls in, these terrible instances of ripping off each other’s outfits is inevitable for the women of I.V. Most women are well aware of the chances of matching with every other bitch and choose to take it as an opportunity for an aesthetic Instagram feed rather than a check to their originality. In the end, they can frequently take comfort in the certainty that they will outshine any man that they might run into, negating any problem with who’s matching with who. 

“It’s honestly whatever … me and my girls looked good in white anyways,” concluded Outfritters. “I don’t even care.”

For all Gauchos planning on partying this quarter, be sure to prepare for the chance of a twin. And if you accidentally twin with me, I’ll find you, and you’ll be sorry.

Fart Tent always does it first.