Fart Tent / Daily Nexus

Never seen such perplexing activities I have! Small town like Isla Vista rare across the galaxy, it is. During a clear Saturday morning, booming and battle drums are happening, but no signs of panic I sense. Music and celebration it is. Signs of enjoyment, of intoxication and youthful exuberance instead! Astonishing it is. Inspired this, what has?

Of course! The strain of difficult mental labor and superficial fulfillment, behind this it is. Feel the dark side I do, lingers in frat houses beneath the foul stench of nicotine it does! A trickster the dark side is, taking the form of men who know not the difference between “your” and “you’re.” Suffer in life, they will, if change their ways they do not. 

Taking a stroll, I do. Must see more! Meehehwahehehee hemewaheeheme.

Youngsters crawling in the streets, plagued with drink in daytime, unprotected and out in the open! Lose they do against battle with toxic substances in small cans. Behind their eyes, lacking thoughts, at home there is no one! Yelling and frolicking under the sun, yes — vastly unprepared for a duel they are. In need of training they are! One must be prepared to encounter an enemy at all times, yet down their defenses are. Such silly students. Surprising that so much time spent in the library, yet lacking in ways of the Force. 

Nears me the smell of the sacred flower. Found me again, my old friend! No choice but to follow! Meewehawemahewee! Shocked is a group of younglings as I enter by chimney into their house where the sacred flower beckons in great clouds of smoke. Thinking I am but a vision they must be!

“Greetings!” I say. A flower from them I take. Perplexed they are, as I too am! Surrounded by dirty dishes and clean laundry on the couch I am. Wilting plants on the floor next to me need sunlight! Such ignorant youngsters, take care of the plants I must. Springing from the couch, moving with the speed of Grand Master of the Jedi Order I do water plants and move from the shade. Astonished the children are, and happy are the plants. Work here done, my is! Time to go it is, out the door to pursue a delicious meal! Forget their kindness in allowing me their sacred flower I will not! Shittiest flower I’ve ever had it was.


Secrets of the universe the scrumptious sustenance served at Deja Vu holds, says Yoda.