Emma Demorest / Daily Nexus

UCSB’s Counseling & Psychological Services has just announced that it will now be offering online counseling in the form of a pre-made smiley face PDF, which your C.A.P.S. specialist will personally send directly into your inbox. 

“We know this is a stressful time for our students, so we wanted to be with them in a similar, if not greater, capacity than we had been when campus was running!” said Dee Pression, head of the “Smiley Mail Directive” (SMD).

“We made sure this would be an incredibly personalized experience, so our students could get care perfectly suited to them,” claimed Pression. “For students struggling with OCD, we made sure to place that smiley face smack dab in the middle of the page. For students with depression, we made the font size a bit bigger so the smiley face really pops! For our anxious students, we put a little text bubble next to the face saying ‘stop worrying!’ Whatever your ailment might be, we have the perfect PDF for you.” 

When Pression was asked what they were doing to make SMD an even more enjoyable, effective experience, Pression’s face lit up, clearly excited to share the latest technological advancement she and her team of SMD researchers had devised. 

“Check your email,” Pression said with a wink. Upon opening their email, our reporter was greeted with a PDF of an egg chair. 

“We know how big of a hit they are on campus, so we figured out a way to bring them to the digital world! Unfortunately, we only have two egg chairs available, so recipients must send the PDF back to their SMD specialist after 30 minutes, in order to create time for everyone. After all, sharing is the most important thing we can do to bring the community together in this time of self-isolation.” 

C.A.P.S. is planning to start rolling out the SMD love this week, so keep your inbox clear and your eyes open for that cute little smiley face and that oh-so-comfy egg chair to show up!


Chace Duma eats egg chairs like you for breakfast.