Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

First-year Greg Pitkis made breaking news this week after it was revealed that he and his RA, Emily Robinson, have been carrying on an illicit romance. A close source told the Nexus that Pitkis first began to fall for Robinson after she cited him for a noise violation after he and his friends were caught playing soccer in the halls.

According to the source, Pitkis is said to have commented that there was “a spark” between him and Robinson when their fingertips touched as he handed her his access card.

At the press conference held on Tuesday, Pitkis stated that “he loves a lady in uniform,” but refused to provide further information. Allegedly, Pitkis did everything he could to get written up again. Sources say he played “The Motto” on full volume after quiet hours with his door open, smoked in the bathroom and sat for a full hour in the lobby with his Suorin in his open palm.

When Robinson finally cited him, sources can confirm Pitkis said, “You’re trying to write me up, aren’t you, Ms. Robinson?” Afterwards, witnesses note that Pitkis went to Robinson’s room frequently to ask about how G.O.L.D. works.

No word yet as to what lies ahead legally for these two lovebirds, but the Nexus would like to wish them the very best.


Annie Pepper is not an R.A.