What makes Isla Vista such a special place are the people who call it home, and those people say some weird shit. Here, we’ve highlighted some golden nuggets of truth spoken by our neighbors, friends, and strangers talking too loud on the phone, to paint a picture of the campus and its surroundings in a way that accurately represents this little slice of paradise.

“I think I’m in a bad mood ‘cause Kanye’s in a bad mood.”

– in the UCen, 3:47 p.m.

“Do you want Subway or not?! I have a buy-one-get-one-free coupon!!”

-guy biking past the HSSB, yelling on the phone, 10:27 a.m.

“I don’t fuck with people who have Androids, ’cause their Snapchat quality sucks.”

-in the Girvetz women’s bathroom, 11:37 a.m.

“I’d make a mom out of her, bro.”

-on DP, 12:10 a.m.

“I got a call from an unknown number and I got so excited.”

-in the library, 4:52 p.m.

“We should call them Rape-publicans.”

-outside of Starbucks, 3:16 p.m.

“I want to join A.S. and change the name to Associated Student Society, so its initials are A.S.S.”

-by the A.S. bike shop, 4:16 p.m.

“Yeah, I knew a guy in high school who ate his own nipple.”

-in a dorm room, immediately followed by someone making a call to their mother, 7:00 p.m.

“So yeah, I was invited to this drug dealer’s party…”

-by Storke Tower, 2:55 p.m.

“Yeah, I don’t know, it’s just my mom raised me to love Satan, so…”

“Oh OK, yeah, I feel.”

-in the Arbor, with a deeply earnest intonation, 2:07 p.m.

“I want to try the walk of shame at least once in my life.”

-at Starbucks, 9:00 p.m.

“Dude, why are you holding your ass?”

-one guy to another while biking down DP, 8:32 p.m.

“Weed doesn’t go in the fridge, bro … Yeah, OK, but the carrot sticks smelled like weed, bro.”

-next-door neighbor, talking on the phone 4:30 p.m.

“I went to the wrong class because I never went to class.”

-girl during week five, by Buchanan, 3:30 p.m.

“An excellent and peculiar work by Mark Train…”

-a TA discussing Mark Twain in section, 2:07 p.m. 

“I know Cody Simpson. Well, a Cody Simpson. A different one. He’s Mexican.”

-outside of Freebirds, 8:00 p.m.

“Halloween was nice. No one was allowed to drive on DP, so I felt like I could bike home from class and not get hit by a car.”

-student to professor after class, 12:46 p.m.

“I’m not a drug addict! At least, not yet.”

-on Trigo by the Amazon Store, 5:47 p.m.