The $1 section of Target
Arguably the best and the only section of Target that most of us can afford. #ballinonabudget
An ideal new location for people like me who are too lazy to walk from the end of 66 block but have the stamina to finish a whole plate of nachos.
Beyoncé can tell you why we need a Red Lobster. Amirite, ladies?
While you are taking shots in I.V., always remember that Harambe took a shot for you.
Freshman Holding Pen
A cool place for all the freshmen to hang out in I.V. and talk about their cool lanyards and all the cool upperclassmen they are friends with, so they don’t show up to parties an hour before everyone else.
Traffic School for all the People who Don’t Signal When Biking
Use your fucking signal, asshole. If you don’t know the rules of the paths, you will have to face the consequences by paying for more school for a subject that you will never master.
Any Other Restaurant That Will Score Goals at Soccer Games
“This goal was brought to you by Jimmy John’s,” will no longer be heard in Harder Stadium every time the Gauchos score. What will we do without our star player? Who will throw food at us during random times at sporting events?? Will they have a vegan option??!
The Del Playa
The address you can send all of the out of towners to when they ask where the party is. Deltopia wristbands and Floatopia tickets can also be purchased at this location.
Maya Rao is a third-year chemistry major who has never had to go to traffic school because she knows how to use her fucking signals.