Jasmine Vaughn / Daily Nexus
Welcome back, everyone, to the shitshow that is the 2016 presidential election. This year is one of the most unique elections in our nation’s history, and the first presidential debate was the most watched of all time with over 80 million viewers. Due to livestreams on Facebook and Twitter, college students around the country are responding, “Oh shit, there’s a debate tonight. Yeah, I’ll watch it,” and will likely tune in again to see more Trump sniffles and Hillz Jim Halpert impressions.
For the second presidential debate, Nexustentialism has a way to make things a little more interesting. Grab a drink and prepare for the best reality TV on cable until “The Bachelor” returns in 2017.
Take a shot to start off just because a candidate for President of the United States had a cameo in “Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.”
courtesy of hollywoodreporter.com
Now the real fun begins:
- Take a drink each time Donald Trump says “temperament,” “China,” “wall,” “businessman,” “win,” “emails” or suggests global warming isn’t a pressing concern
- Take a drink each time Hillary Clinton says “women,” “middle class,” “unreleased taxes,” “bigotry,” “small business” or “healthcare”
- Take a drink whenever one candidate interrupts the other
- Take a shot if Trump sniffles
- Take a drink when Trump criticizes Clinton’s experience
- Take a drink when Clinton criticizes Trump’s treatment of women
- Take a drink every time the moderator fails to stop a candidate from talking
- Take a shot when the moderator has asked the candidate to stop talking more than three times
- Take a drink any time Donald Trump’s unreleased taxes are somehow brought into the conversation when no one asked
- Same with the emails
- Take a shot whenever you question if anything said was overtly racist/sexists
- Take a shot if you stop listening to what Hillary Clinton is saying and wonder if your hot TA will even ask about the debate in section tomorrow
- Take a drink if you have to Google something to understand what the question is asking
- Take a shot when one of your housemates inevitably asks, “Wait, sooooo what exactly is wrong with America’s infrastructure?”
- Take a drink when you can’t answer
- Take a shot if you forgot who the vice presidential candidates are
- Take a shot if you wonder where HC gets such fire pantsuits
- Take a shot because you didn’t think about where Donald Trump gets his suits you sexist mofo
- Shotgun a beer if absolutely everything they are talking about is going over your head because you know nothing about politics
- Take a shot if you gave up on the debate and started watching the new episode of “Treehouse Masters: Branched Out” on Animal Planet
