A large part of the modern student’s daily life revolves around the backpack: schlepping it to class, remembering which lecture hall you left it in, emptying it of garbage once a year, using it to transport substances, illicit or otherwise. Whether or not you use your backpack as an essential tool of the scholar or a convenient tool just to carry whatever’s lying around, the bag you choose to tote around campus says a lot about you. Here are just a few examples that represent the different backpack personalities on campus.
1.) Swiss Gear/North Face
You’re an adventurous utilitarian type, ready for whatever life throws at you. You follow the scout motto of always being prepared and you show up to every lecture five minutes early. On the other hand, there is a chance you bought one of these backpacks because they look cool and you’ve never been off of a paved road in your life.
Classic, traditional, timeless. Those who choose this bag are dependable people who are always there when you need them. They make great lab partners, and usually have gum that they are happy to share with you. Their biggest gripe is seeing other people on campus with the same exact color bag as them because they thought theirs was special.
People with these bags know that fashion is important, and doing a little extra to look good is always worth it. Just because you have an 8:00 a.m. section today doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your aesthetic. Clean lines, crisp colors and good handwriting are the mark of a Herschel owner. But just like their bags, looking great on the surface can hide a whole lot of shit inside.
Wearing a bag like this shows a slight anarchistic tendency, because only a rule breaker would wear a blue bag labeled with the word “pink.” Any backpack from this brand makes the wearer look like they put in some effort without actually doing anything, which makes it a good choice for lazy people who want to look cute. Plus it matches all your yoga pants, so, score.
The world needs to know how athletic you are, and this is a great way to send that message. If your backpack is from one of these brands, you’re either on a sports team or have swag coming out your ass, and in either case the logo is there to remind people of that. Or maybe you got it because you like people to think you’re sporty without the effort, in which case your efforts should be applauded because you definitely fooled me, buddy.
6.) A satchel/purse style bag
You’re not an easily stressed out person and you’re good at living minimally to some extent, because that bag can only hold so much. Looking good isn’t hard with a nice purse, and all your clothes probably match anyways so getting ready in the morning is a breeze. You never stay for long after class because you need to get to a meeting. If your bag is structured and made of leather, you’re probably heading to the Future Leaders of America; if it’s a slouchy canvas bag, maybe you’re going to basket weaving lessons.
7.) The free drawstring bag you got from orientation
You’re just here so you won’t get fined. You’ll probably ask the person next to you for a pencil.
8.) Hot Topic
You have a brave, pure soul, uncorrupted by the evils of the world. Your youthful nature makes you fun to be around, when you’re not busy watching cartoons. Don’t let them change you.
9.) No backpack
You live life on the edge. It takes some guts to show up with nothing but what’s in your pockets, but you pull it off with grace and haven’t had a problem yet. You probably own a “U Can Study Buzzed” shirt.
10.) Knockoff of any of the above
Same traits and characteristics apply, but you also have the bonus of looking good and not spending $50+ on a bag. You’re the real winner here.