New freckles appear

Where did you come from?

Asymmetrical

 

It’s hard to drink from

Water fountains when wind blows

Stream into my face

 

Dirty eraser,

You didn’t even do your

Job at all, at all

 

Don’t you hate it when

You have to use your hand or

Shirt as a tissue

 

Paper cut, you ass

I cannot wash my hands with

Lemon juice today

 

Burritos always

Explode in the microwave

Why do they do that?

 

Lagoon pond water

Shimmers like the Promised Land

You are filthy, whore

 

Some words are weird like

“Lamp” and “crust” and “putrefy”

But oh, that’s okay

 

I laughed but I did—

‘nt know what they were talking

About, not at all

 

I tried to eat an

Egg this morning but it was

Staring right at me

 

Remember when we

Used to use Norton Anti-

Virus, what a laugh

 

I had a talk with

A solemn bird today, he

Wasn’t very trite

 

“Damn, I really love

‘Top Gun,’ shit, now what do I

Do?” Jack Crosbie said

 

Have you ever sat

And watched the sun rise o’er the

Mountains, me neither

 

How often are we

Really supposed to wash our

Towels, do you think?

 

I had no spoon, so

I ate my cereal with

A knife, don’t do it

 

The first person to

Milk a cow must have been a

Terrible pervert

 

Lip, you twitching wench

This is embarrassing, stop

I’m trying to talk

 

I tried to be a

Hipster, but my hair wouldn’t

Look undone enough

 

I think my right ear

Has a bigger hole, ear bud

Doesn’t fit the same

 

I tried to buy food

At the Co-op but I left

Can’t eat that much hemp

 

Person was breathing

Too loud in the library

Breathe on your own time

 

My bike has become

A real prick lately, he thinks

He’s the new Elvis

 

By Jana Barrett

Opinion Co-Editor

This is a haiku

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