New freckles appear

Where did you come from?



It’s hard to drink from

Water fountains when wind blows

Stream into my face


Dirty eraser,

You didn’t even do your

Job at all, at all


Don’t you hate it when

You have to use your hand or

Shirt as a tissue


Paper cut, you ass

I cannot wash my hands with

Lemon juice today


Burritos always

Explode in the microwave

Why do they do that?


Lagoon pond water

Shimmers like the Promised Land

You are filthy, whore


Some words are weird like

“Lamp” and “crust” and “putrefy”

But oh, that’s okay


I laughed but I did—

‘nt know what they were talking

About, not at all


I tried to eat an

Egg this morning but it was

Staring right at me


Remember when we

Used to use Norton Anti-

Virus, what a laugh


I had a talk with

A solemn bird today, he

Wasn’t very trite


“Damn, I really love

‘Top Gun,’ shit, now what do I

Do?” Jack Crosbie said


Have you ever sat

And watched the sun rise o’er the

Mountains, me neither


How often are we

Really supposed to wash our

Towels, do you think?


I had no spoon, so

I ate my cereal with

A knife, don’t do it


The first person to

Milk a cow must have been a

Terrible pervert


Lip, you twitching wench

This is embarrassing, stop

I’m trying to talk


I tried to be a

Hipster, but my hair wouldn’t

Look undone enough


I think my right ear

Has a bigger hole, ear bud

Doesn’t fit the same


I tried to buy food

At the Co-op but I left

Can’t eat that much hemp


Person was breathing

Too loud in the library

Breathe on your own time


My bike has become

A real prick lately, he thinks

He’s the new Elvis


By Jana Barrett

Opinion Co-Editor

This is a haiku