Dear Duke/members of the ACC: You may be better at basketball than we are, but you still live on the East Coast. How does dirty snow taste? Probably like my sunburnt balls. Bitches.
AQB: Dear Duke…
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Aries
March 21 - April 19
“Greased Lightnin’” from “Grease”
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
Sunset waltz from “La La Land”
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
“Thriller” by Michael Jackson
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Frat flick
Leo
July 23 - August 22
“Macarena” by Los Del Río
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
“Gangnam Style” by PSY
Libra
September 23 - October 22
“Swan Lake” by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Renegade
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
“Cell Block Tango” from “Chicago”
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
“The Last Text” from “Dance Moms”
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
Flossing
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
All of “Hamilton”
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