Dazed and Confused
Saturday, December 23, 11:58 a.m. — Isla Vista’s finest were on patrol when they noticed a 50-year-old man dozing in a local park.
An officer contacted the vagabond, but the sleepy sir simply glanced up, decided his nap was more important than dealing with the cops and proceeded to lie back down on the grass.
The unconventional napper reeked of booze and, when questioned, stated that he began drinking that morning out of the silver thermos that also functioned as his snuggle buddy.
The individual went on to say that he knew he was in a park and did not know how to get back to his regular post on State Street. The confusion in his eyes seemed a little too artificial to the officer, who searched the man only to find a vial with less than an ounce of weed. The man said he thought he had a card, but seemed to forget he had to carry it with him.
He was transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail where he was housed, pending sobriety.
Everything’s Not All Gravy
Friday, December 22, 4:18 a.m. — Early on Friday morning, a deputy spotted one of Isla Vista’s more famous transients, known as Q-Tip, wildly flailing his arms around as he gallivanted in Anisq’Oyo Park.
The officer approached the manic man. After noticing that Q-Tip smelled strangely like a pile of dirty, vodka-drenched socks, the cop asked just how much he had to drink that day. Always well spoken, Q-Tip told the officer he was “all good” and just chilling out.
Not satisfied with the answer, the officer walked with the man to the park’s stage, watching him clumsily devour a plate of turkey and gravy.
When asked if the drifter knew where he was, Q-Tip said he was in “Anna See Park.” The now-satiated vagrant then went on to ask if he could just sleep in the park instead of in jail, thinking the officer might be filled with the holiday spirit.
To his disappointment, Q-Tip was taken to the Santa Barbara County Jail where he was housed, pending sobriety. Later that week, he was arrested again for a similar incident and was, once again, taken to the Santa Barbara County Jail where he was housed, pending sobriety.