In a fascinating and insane turn of events, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has decided that based on Miley Cyrus’ powerful work in “The Last Song,” she will be awarded a post-ceremony Oscar for Best Actress in a Motion Picture.

“I totally knew it was gonna happen,” says Cyrus of the award. “I mean, why wouldn’t it? I’m awesome.”

The unprecedented decision has left many shocked and dismayed, in addition to being the first award of this nature in history.

“Well we didn’t want to wait all the way until next year’s ceremony,” says Ron Meyer, president and CEO of Universal Studios and a member of the Academy. “It was just too great a performance.”

“The Last Song,” which was released nationwide yesterday, is the most recent movie adaptation of a Nicolas Sparks novel. It is about a young girl (Cyrus) who is sent to spend a summer with her estranged father (Greg Kinnear), only to fall in love with a local boy (Liam Hemsworth).

“We basically played ourselves,” says Hemsworth about working with his real-life romantic interest, Cyrus. “It wasn’t too hard. OK, maybe a little.”

The award confusion erupted yesterday evening, when Cyrus received the call at her Toluca Lake, Calif. home and immediately called her rep at Disney to spread the news.

“I picked up the phone, ya’ll, and he was like, ‘Bullock’s out. You’re in!'” said Cyrus.

Sandra Bullock, whose title was revoked in order to give the award to Cyrus, was given the award for her powerful turn as Leigh Anne Tuohy in John Lee Hancock’s “The Blind Side.” Still, the Academy is certain it’s made the right decision.

“Sure, she’s having a shitty couple weeks, but we figure, might as well pile on the crap now,” says Meyer.

Bullock, whose husband Jesse James was uncovered as a massive cheating jackass, had no comment as of press time regarding the award change.

“She’s just locked herself inside and won’t come out,” says an anonymous friend of the family. “It’s kind of pathetic, actually.”

The historic occasion may come as a surprise to many, but some are not so shocked.

“When you’re related to the guy who wrote ‘Achy Breaky Heart,’ what do you expect?” said Cyrus’ father, Billy Ray. “Rock on, money-maker.”

Print