You know those second week of school days? The ones where you just don’t know how, exactly, you got out of bed all last week? And please don’t say, “Oh, Weatherhuman, all you did was sit up, swing your rainy day legs over the edge of the bed and stand up!” No, genius, that’s not what I mean. More like, “How could I be this exhausted on the same three hours of sleep I got last week?” Damn you, excessively comfy bed. You’re killing me.

Tomorrow’s Forecast: The ‘human brings all new meaning to hitting the sack and starts an Isla Vista uprising. Those pillows will pay for their treachery.