Warning: The events of this true story are so horrific, heinous and sadistic that the real identities have been concealed to protect the sad, sad victims in this malicious act of subleasing. Read at your own risk: may cause night terrors, paranoia and/or depression if you consider subleasing your apartment this summer.

One fateful summer not too long ago, lived two wide-eyed and naïve subleasing hopefuls in search of the perfect subleasers for their awesome two bedroom, two bath gem of an apartment that over looked the ocean on the 6600 block of Del Playa Drive. You see, these two roomies were going to study abroad for the summer in Granada, Spain. Though they were reluctant to sublease their precious apartment after horror stories were told and retold like urban legends, they couldn’t feasibly pay rent in I.V. and live comfortably in Spain. After all, what’s studying aboard in Spain without tapas, bar hoping and partying until 6 in the morning with golden tanned senors and senoritas?

Like many before them, they posted “Subleasers Wanted” ads all over campus: the tack boards out by the bus stop, on the backs of the bathroom stalls, near the elevators and stairs in the dorms. They received a call one afternoon that seemed to them to be sent from heaven. Two SBCC students were looking to sublease their apartment for the whole time the two roomies were to be in Spain: perfection. As June rolled around, the keys were turned over, one month’s rent was collected and the two left for their dream trip. One of the roommates had paid his rent to the landlord in advance, agreeing to his subleasee’s suggestion that he would collect the rent money upon his return home. The other left his subleasee to her own devices and figured that it was her responsibility to pay the rent directly to the landlord. No contract was ever written because the two subleasees were chill girls, friends of friends of a friend that graduated two years prior. No big.

When the two bronzed roomies returned from their trip, they found eviction notices on their door, an apartment that looked like it was trashed by Ozzie Osborne during his “bat biting” era, and no subleasees in sight. The friends of friends of a friend that graduated two years prior had skipped out, not paying the two now homeless and debtor roomies, leaving them to deal with the mess. They tried to file a report with the police, but since no contract was ever drawn, no contacts ever taken, they couldn’t. No real planning or consideration for legality was ever thought of because they had a jerk of a landlord, and they figured if he could lease shit, why couldn’t they?

As a result of their careless attitudes, they lost out on their primo apartment and were forced to live off Camino Corto (I don’t know about you but that’s just as bad as it could get), they had to pay the uncollected rent, and they lost all their friends (not really, but you get the idea). Moral of this story: Don’t be dumbasses like them.

DO get written permission from your landlord allowing you to sublease.

DO have some kind of semi-legal documentation of the terms of the subleasing including how much is to be collected, when collection will take place, who will live there, etc.

DO document either by photos or video every surface of your apartment PRIOR to letting your sub leasers move in to avoid damages disputes.

DO check out the Community Housing Office (CHO) and/or this website
for more info on contracts and how to get the perfect subleaser.

DON’T rent to SBCC student. They go to a community college for a reason. Just kidding, but be wary of anyone who doesn’t go to school either at UCSB or SBCC.

DON’T take anything on faith. Protect yourself and your credit.

Lastly, DON’T be the next sob story I have to write about next year. Even though they say that any publicity is good publicity, they are lying. Don’t be THAT much of a dumbass.