1. Never wash your clothes. Just wear them in a cycle like they did in ‘Nam.

2. Stop using condoms and you stop wasting so much rubber. It’s simple economics.

3. Don’t buy any textbooks or readers.

4. Throw your stanky-ass food and other forms of natural shit outside so it decomposes all natural-like, rather than disposing of your rotting mother-fucking shit in the trash.

5. Shower with your roommate.

6. Bike to class.

7. Trade in your Natty and ganja for Everclear, antifreeze and heroin. Potency = less waste.

8. Only have orgies. Fucking in a foursome cuts down on sheet washing.

9. Don’t use toilet paper.

10. Remember how that dude drank his own piss at Water World? Do that. That’s real recycling right there.

*Note: These tips are not approved by the FDA and are not necessarily recommended by professionals.