So fellas, it’s past midnight on a random weekday, and you and your lady friend are jonesing for some delicious sweets. Maybe you’ve got the munchies… or the drunchies. I won’t judge. At any rate, you need to go some place that could quasi-count as a date (you never take me anywhere, my ass!), but everything even remotely classy is closed. Besides, driving is for saps. So, what do you do? If you’re anything like everybody else, the answer is that fucking fro-yo place that seems so popular. Girls like it because fro-yo is healthy and stuff. Except for the whole three pounds of Heath Bars and cookie dough that you sprinkled on top… but yeah, other than that…

Tomorrow’s forecast: Sweet Alley gets too popular, so people stop going. The counter-culture is a bitch.

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