Athletes (and Bob Dole) have completely stolen the third person away from the rest of us. “T.O. is just looking out for T.O.” You know what Terrell? The ‘human’s been using that particular method of speech since before you were born. But fine, have it your way. It’s time to bring back the first person plural. We believe in the ‘Royal We.’

Let them eat cake, we say.

Tomorrow’s Forecast: After our proclamation in today’s box draws widespread criticism from British Monarchs, the ‘human switches to the seldom-used fourth person. One best watch one’s self.