Note to clueless freshmen, dumbass sorostitutes, arrogant bros and scofflaw pedestrians: LEARN HOW TO USE A FUCKING ROUNDABOUT. I can’t stand it when some blond bimbo on her cell phone nearly runs me over because she thoughtlessly goes clockwise to cut the corner while I’m crossing the path. It’s not that fucking difficult. Also, don’t slow to a stop every time it’s a little trafficked. My God, didn’t you learn this in your second grade bike safety presentation?

Tomorrow’s Forecast: The university extends consideration of a skateboarding ban to now include biking, rollerblading and briskly walking. God forbid people take personal responsibility to learn what they’re doing.