A New York woman got a little unruly on her plane flight yesterday, apparently fighting with flight attendants and grabbing other passengers on her way from Puerto Rico to Chicago. The crew did the only logical thing to do in a situation like that: duct tape her to her fucking seat until she could no longer move. Brilliant. It’s good to know that if some terrorists try to hijack a plane again, our intrepid flight crews are supplied with the most high-tech restraining mechanisms available. I mean, have you ever tried to rip duct tape off your skin? That shit hurts!

Tomorrow’s forecast: The ‘human thinks twice about asking for an extra bag of peanuts.