You freshmen think you know sports? The QB is here to help you wade through al the bullshit in the sports world. Here’s to hoping that the painfully boring NFL preseason ends soon.
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Aries
March 21 - April 19
CSOs at the frats
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
Barefooter anywhere but 68 block
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
Senior at De La Guerra Dining Commons
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Sober on a Lime scooter
Leo
July 23 - August 22
A condom in a frat house
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
A condom in a frat house
Libra
September 23 - October 22
Electronic dance music at 9 a.m.
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
The sun during June gloom
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
Your ex at thanksgiving dinner
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
A black bear in South Hall
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
Chancellor Yang at Sunday Funday
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
Surfer at their 8 a.m.
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